and with much of nothing left

I've taken the sincerest thoughts of you,

and I have left my heart open,

without guard,

dripping of vulnerability and optimism. 

Purposely, 

I left time to reveal how cruel 

fate could really be

and my God, 

not that I have the best track record 

with working on my knees (forcing my eyes shut and 

feeling uncomfortable 

as I clasped my hands together), 

but my god, 

was fate as cold as a Minnesota winter.

love note

i am my own favorite heart to love.

magic

magic exists in the believer.
it manifests from the beauty of self.
when the soul
builds off of it’s own wisdom.

healing ii

i want to completely undo myself.
rinse my pieces,
find my peace,
and put myself back together again.

detail

attention.
to detail.
leaving me homeless,
grasping at how i could let
love
make me stare idly into
an eclipse.
i made myself this way,
i let the scars and the battles
teach me that
love,
love doesn't provide much
when you can't place your heart
inside of your lover's arms.
love doesn't keep you warm at night,
when you can't trust what you are
loving.
disappointment comes in waves,
in sequences,
washing over you,
taking you over.
and you pay attention to detail,
recognizing that
you were fortunate enough
to end up back on shore.

previous encounters

of course I've been fucked before

men dragging their lies

up and down

my legs

kissing me with strangers lips,

kissing me with the lips of their lovers

leaving me a delicious unfinished meal.

I had been a home for the wounded,

in between battles,

waiting for their next wife,

their previous lover 

to love them again. 

I had become a 

drawer

of unwritten love letters,

just blank pieces of paper

empty pieces of hearts. 

traditions

being defined as something 

based on the extensive

care and compassion of men,

leading me down a "fatherly lane"

when you had no father 

to come home to

after school dances. 

don't let them put labels on you

because they think you should 

be a direct 

clone of their beliefs,

a copy machine

of understandings,

that you never really understood,

much less believed in.