you captured color with your eyes, i captured it with my words

i took out my box
of all the knicks and knacks
i use to craft things
almost as beautiful as you.
you sat there,
in the dim light
slightly shivering
because you wanted to
be crafted bare,
which wasn't much of a surprise
you took pride in your nudity.
no shade of brown that i had
was beautiful enough
to represent you.
so i decided to make art
as colorful as your personality.
i took your love
and shaded the canvas with
deep reds and soft pinks,
careful not to make it too defined
however not too wild.
i took your compassion
and paired with with sunny yellows,
everlasting greens.
my favorite part of you,
your beauty,
was as effortless as the sky,
so i shaded it as such,
light and night time blues.
you were a reason to wake up
in the mornings.
you were as mysterious as
midnight.
your passion i made
with bright reds,
eye catching oranges.
i finished you with white,
you're not easily seen by some,
but with the right people,
you shine brighter than a star.
you're more beautiful than a masterpiece.
you are more beautiful than what i could ever draw.

a taste of a dream

I like it
when the street lights are bright,
and I can feel you whisper
my name into my mouth.

I like it
when I can see how shy
you get when I'm in
your presence
and your hands start sweating
and your throat feels
like a lump of overly
soaked cotton.

I like it
when you call me yours,
and you act like I don't notice
how you stumble over your words
when you walk into the same room
as me.

I like it
how I can feel
how genuinely
you want to touch me,
mentally.
Physically too,
but baby I can tell that's
not what is on your mind right now.

But what I like the most is how
I can feel myself walking into you,
and I can trust what's inside of you,
to be good to what's inside of me.
I just want you to love me,
while I love you freely.

You're the perfect person,
that stepped out of my dreams,
into my reality.

unwanted feelings

when you ask someone to leave,
when you tell someone,
they are not worthy in your space,
you cannot show anger towards
them for following your instructions.
when you realize they are no longer around
and you want to feel their soul connect with yours
remember,
you get what you ask for.

Tomorrow

Nothing good has ever
come out of hating yourself,
hating your body,
hating your life,
hating the universe inside of you.
Take one day
and love everything about you:
the little scar above your eye,
the mole on your finger,
your "nappy" hair,
the way you wake up in the morning,
how your face feels before you've
covered it with makeup
and disgust,
and comparison.
And then take the next day,
and the next week.
Watch how the universe begins
to return the love you
are pouring out of yourself.

be big

when the person that you love,
treats you like you are not worthy
of their love,
let them go.
their love is toxic to you,
and will teach you to belittle yourself.
you need to grow.

do you understand loyalty

you had me in the
palm of your hands, but you thought
hurting me was fine.

Reminders and Directions

Maybe the sunshine goes out
in my eyes,
when I need to remember
how I got through the
darkness.

To Rest

here I am,
carrying a chip on my shoulder
that gives me the illusion of
carrying the
world on
my back.
Such a small thing,
causing so many problems
and I am still supposed to smile.
spare me
the "i have to be strong"
bullshit,
sometimes I just want
to lay down my head,
and
rest until I feel sane again.

for my loves

occasionally,
I ask the universe
how it decides
who walks into my life,
whether it is random
(which I now know for sure
it is definitely not)
because there was definitely
a reason for meeting you.
I can see how
our galaxies
collide,
into beautiful
colors, and
beautiful collection of stars.
I see myself in you,
and I see the sun
every time I experience
your happiness.
I experience rain,
every time the clouds
get you down.
I question how anyone,
much rather you,
could look at yourself
and see anything but
perfection.
pure gold.
You reflection
shows the genuine
intention,
and deep love
you have experienced,
and how strong you have
become.
I see in you,
your mother,
your ancestors,
your moments in heaven,
your moments from hell.
And there is no one,
that I could
replace
your soul
with.
Thank You.
You have brightened my life
beyond understanding.
I am sending
so much love
to you,
for always.

This is for you

When you came to love me,
I learned the difference between
being loved,
and being used.
Then I learned,
you didn't really love me at all.

is that enough

I still believe in you,
is that enough?
even though you have become
an unrecognizable face
in the crowd
until you decide you are lonely
and decide you want to get a taste
of my world again
(however, that only lasts a second).
I don't know where you went.
I don't know where the love
went.
I don't know what the love is.
shit,
I don't know what I did.
But I'm still here,
I still believe in you
and on your darkest hours,
remember that I am sending you
the brightest light.
I am still cheering you on,
even though I'm not on the field,
I'm hiding behind the stands
until you acknowledge me again.

you are the strongest tree

honey,
you are as sweet as sugar.
your words soothe aching souls.
your arms have embraced
not only the most broken,
but also yourself.
don't give up on yourself.
don't give up on the love you
have to give.
let yourself grow,
lose leaves,
break some branches.
just remember you are getting
stronger,
making room for
better leaves.
gaining stronger roots.

shine your light loudly so others can hear

you are
an edible collection
of letters,
a cluster of words
that spell out
the most delectable
chocolate.
you are all of the riches,
that the queen wears
to a ceremony
of the departing of a life,
and all of the control
the king has over
his largest army.
you are a paradox,
a combination of far right
and far left ideas,
a beautiful safe containing
love letters,
a tragic mess of heartbreaks.
stop hating yourself,
when you are the one
that has been pulling yourself up
all of these years.
you're worth a beautiful symphony
of words.
sing the song of
your soul
loudly.

stay away from the water if you cannot swim

if you expect me
to silence my words,
cover my hurt,
and let go of my strength,
you have no reason
to try to speak to my soul,
much less to the life
in between my legs.
you don't go to the ocean
and ask it to stop creating waves,
because you are afraid of
drowning.

ill love the parts of you that you hate

if you can trust me,
let me speak light
into your wounds
to brighten up the places
that people have ruined
with their darkness.
let me bandage the places
with love,
to remind you that you are still,
as well as have been,
and always will be
beautiful.
that your soul is more than just
a container for
other people's problems.
it is more than the
cuts,
scars,
burns,
it is a beautiful
collection of
stars.

speechless

I cannot describe myself with words.
whether this is a good thing,
or a bad thing.
I am satisfied.

welcome morning

i like the mornings after
painful nights
the most.
my soul likes to listen,
heal,
and repair itself
while i am deep in slumber.
i'm thankful that my heart
likes to piece itself
back together peacefully.

love is my lighthouse

and sometimes,
the only words I feel like
whispering out
are "I" "love" "you".
it's the only thing
that comforts me,
when things have gotten
too dark.

recovery intertwined with relapse

just when I think that
the world has stopped spinning
too fast for me to catch my breath,
and the sea has slowed down
so I can stop drowning
in its salty arms,
I get washed over
by a wave of
frustration,
anxiety,
despair,
and I have to learn to crawl again,
to the sand,
so I can rest.

you let the poison seep into my wounds

learn to let go
of the ones
that douse
your name in poison
when they speak it.

you dont have to be small

you are as gentle as a cool breeze,
and as powerful as the sun.
stop selling your self short for others.
you can be great,
and they can be great.
nature needs multiple things to prosper.

forgetfulness

Your name is another collection of letters
in the alphabet I learned when I was younger.
It no longer forms a specific word to me,
nothing special,
just a cluster of letters
that will be forgotten as soon
as I rest my bags at the door
and start a midday snack.
Comfort.
Because when we were young,
we weren't confined to our
memories of the
hurt,
the boy that picked on us,
the girl that had the "cooties".
By the time the day was over,
we only had our future dreams.
Your name is just another nightmare
in the past,
another thing I'll forget as I rise
in the morning.

unapologetically naked

i think the most confident thing to do as a black woman is be confident with your naked self.
and not only nude physically, sexually.
but nude with how you are mentally, spiritually.
be in love with the curves of your body, as well as the depth of your mind.
be beautiful,
let the truth spill from your lips.
don't let yourself be caged for their approval.

you thought my heart was small

I keep little pieces
of all of the
hearts that have
fell deep
into the well
of my soul.
I still remember you,
and I am thankful for your
hurt,
your happy,
your flaws,
and your
little insecurities
that broke my
"little" heart.
when I ripped away
your pieces,
it made me feel
whole again.

in regards of my naked body

the only hands I am in are mine,
honestly.
I let out,
what I have no fear of showing up later
on in my journey.
I show,
what I am proud of.

i am not your sexual object

did you love her?
did you really love her?
or did you just like how your tongue
felt roaming down her side.
did you understand how her body works,
or was she only a sexual toy
used for objectification to pleasure
the most used part of your body.
did you understand her mind?
is she just a sex symbol to you?
can you appreciate her body as art?
ask yourself that the next time your
hand slides down a woman’s body.
you can love her without an orgasm

i happy you

i happy you,

is that possible?

is it possible for you

to emit a happy.

for happy to be a verb.

like love, 

it makes you feel good,

makes me smile.

when i happy you,

i want you around more,

i want you to feel 

the joy that i am trying

to shed onto your shoulders.

leaving you awake at night,

smiling,

because you have been kissed

with happiness. 

i want you to fall asleep

when you need more rest

because i happy you.

i value you.

i desire your happiness.

your happy 

makes me happy.

your happy requires my patience.

my happy requires your patience.

understanding.

maybe happy is the cousin

of the strong drug of love,

but i think happy is much stronger. 

i feel much more intertwined

with your heart

when i happy you. 

i love you,

but i want to happy you, more. 

alone is a blessing

an important part of love,
is learning how to be alone.
an important part of being alone
is learning how to enjoy it.
I've noticed that we struggle
to migrate with souls,
to blend with souls,
but it is as easy as simply
helping others understand
that you are journeying too.
you get their struggle.
embrace each other,
with open arms,
open hearts,
and spread kindness,
and you'll realize how much
of the universe is within you
and how many lives
you impact.

I know you are hurting

acknowledge your feelings,

and then let them move on.

they too are temporary.

they are not meant to

last for a lifetime.

one day,

all you will have

is a faint memory of their existence.

embrace that.

the sun will come soon.

you silenced yourself

I am not biting my tongue
just because you haven't yet
learned how to speak to
and from your soul.

loving for dummies

I wish there was an instruction manual
on how to love you.
I still want to,
but I need help learning how.

watch how love lights up when you bring spring into the winter

to love someone else,
unconditionally,
asking for little to nothing in return,
is giving someone a handful of
their favorite spring flowers
in the middle of a snowy winter.

children understand love better than i do

I wanna love you innocently,
with no history,
like a kid.
wrapped up in your arms
until my heart feels safe again.

like royalty

as a queen to a king,
I will rub cocoa butter
and kisses on the
kinks of your smooth brown skin.

loving you is like loving me

the second greatest gift
I ever received was
the chance to love someone
other than myself.
the first was
the chance to love
every part of me.

i love you like the sun

you are my favorite kind of love,
one that reflects
the brightest,
sweetest
parts of me.

less than three

tell him that he’s handsome

 and that he makes your heart smile.

 i “less than three” you

 i “feel the warmth of my fuzzy heart because of” you

 i “strive to keep a smile on your face” you

 i “smell your scent long after we part,

 feel your touch in my sleep,

 thank the universe everyday for bringing you to me”

you.

 tell him “i love you”

in different languages.

 in different words, phrases.

 let it seep out of your mouth

 dripping like sap from a tree

 in the right season.

 i “give you all i got cause i feel you are worth the give” you.

 i love you.

 and not a day should go by that

 i love you

 doesn’t flow out of your mouth

 like a waterfall.

self love is crucial

figure out how to love the deepest,
most painful parts of yourself first,
then you'll be able to love others
properly,
with more ease.

you are trying to hide the fact that you are weak

I hope that one day the world makes
you soft and kind,
to make up for all of the years
you wasted thinking that being harsh
was equal to strength.

your absence shows their intentions

stop spilling your heart out
to strangers
who are too entangled in
their own lives
to even notice when you
aren't around.

nature.

an animal does not stay
where there are no resources
to serve it pleasure.
I could not limit myself to things
and people
that don't bring the simplicity
of peace
or add to my happiness.
I cannot commit mental suicide
staying in a situation that causes me
more pain and suffering
than happiness and peace.
I, too, must surround myself
with the resources that make me
happy,
fulfill me.
So I had to release.

a piece of me

I tend to lose little pieces of me
wherever I stop and take a rest.
every time I step forward,
I contemplate walking back,
to make myself whole.
I have revisited places,
I have revisited people.
My pieces are no longer
my pieces.
They have found homes
in other people.
They have molded into new
concepts,
new ideas,
new feelings.
I used to walk back,
I try to carry myself
when my feet get tired,
my ankles have rolled,
my heart has given up.
I used to drag myself
lifeless,
in hopes of gaining parts of me back.
Sometimes when holding on to things,
parts that weren't really supposed to be
part of you anyways,
things fall apart.
Worry about what is keeping you together,
not the things that you've left
behind.

untitled.

i have a bad habit
of falling for men
who arent really men at all.
at least not the man for me.
ill walk around with my heart
on my sleeve
and the first raise of attention
that resembles something that i had once craved
but grown out of.
its what im used to.
the faster things come
the faster things go.
and it makes me sick that i put so much trust
into a person.
a person that didn’t want to be honest with me
except when ive made him angry,
but wanted me to open up fully.
i was too sensitive.
but what does this mean?
i didn’t let the world harden my soul
im still here.
and i take that in pride.
but i get it.
ill do better.
ill learn not to fall for me who can’t
love me fully.
all of me.
without complaints.

Fall and Rise

disgusted. frustrated. bland.
I had thought about giving up
breaking everything down into
little pieces,
burning it,
moving on from another little
"dream".
I had played over and over
in my head
what this process could take,
how far I could take it,
what would happen when I fail.
when I fail.
I didn't even give myself the
opportunity to succeed,
without thinking that I was
going to get stuck.
Breathe.
motivation. determination. mindset.
I had to change my mindset,
reverse my thoughts,
break myself
to put myself back together
in better pieces.
I am capable of anything,
I have so much power
within myself
that I just have to channel and use.
I am.
I am.
I am.
Speak it into existence.
Be it.

Touch

and when he whispered
his lips became a
feather to my ear,
leaving me with a
sensation only virgins feel
after their second or third time
being kissed below their waist.
he thinks I don't notice
the pulse of his manhood
as he tried to brush
his lips across mine.
it started with a touch of the hand,
the lightest touch of his fingers,
making love to my wrist,
singing a beautiful
lust story,
causing a crave
that neither one of us were
suppose to desire.
you were long,
and drawn out,
and you took your time to
place your lips
on mine,
and relax my mind.
it's like a broken vhs,
the way my mind replays
how your voice sounded
when you told me to
"relax".
Never kiss a poet,
the way your tongue felt
going down my side
gave me enough inspiration
to write love poems,
lust poems,
and all of that in between.
You did something to me,
that I'm not entirely sure
that I've felt before.

insomnia

I forgot how beautiful things were
at three oclock in the morning
when the lights shine too bright
and the streets are silent.
The beauty in feeling someone's
scent brush against yours,
seeping in spots
you didn't know were there.
The whisper of words
from an unfamiliar voice
that feels too much like
home.
Everything is so beautiful,
so honest.
The whispers become honesty.
The caress of a finger,
the grasp of a hand.
The feeling of not knowing
what the next step is,
but feeling exactly what
you know you need to feel
at.
that.
moment.
and for a second that's all that matters.
those 3 a.m.
memories.

finding your peace.

When you find yourself
in a position
where the world is only touching
the thick outline of your skin
that comes form years
and years
of hurt
sadness
and anger,
reposition yourself.
Bury yourself deep
into mother nature's
cold ground,
cover yourself with the cool breeze
and don't leave until
you have produced your own warmth,
don't leave until something
touches the soft spot
of your soul.

late night nudity.

I watched
as your skin
was illuminated by
the moon late
that night,
as you danced in all of
your possibilities.
You were bare,
and you were able to
feel the manipulation
of the stars.
They carefully
dressed up your skin,
turned on your fire,
and let you light
the world ablaze.
My world is still
glowing.

2014

embody love within yourself.
every single thing you do
should be done with an
open, selfless, heart.
no expectations for love in return.
not everyone that you love deeply,
will love you the same.
however, that should not stop the
depths and intensity of your love.
love how you love, regardless.
embrace the differences
between your love and someone else's.
don't forget to love yourself completely
from the beginning,
loving others will come more naturally
and be more fulfilling
if you do.
at any point in time,
if you don't like something,
change it.
never be afraid to
start over.
change is good.