freedom

they left us
bound at the ankles
with words,
whispering of freedom.
making us believe that
if we behave better,
act better,
our lives would
be
better.
they had no
thoughts
of aiding us.
just
thoughts of
burying us
deep
beneath
the surface of
our greatness.
keeping us from
our ancestors,
hiding us
from the truth.
they were never masters,
their ideas
weak,
their souls
lost.
they were cowards,
hidden in wolf
clothing.

ignorance

i was warned
that ignorance
was like a
green snake.
though my garden
was kept tidy
for years before,
i was left with
bites and
broken soil
because of ignorance.
i was stuck with
watering eyes
and lumps of pain
too deep
in my throat
for me
to ever swallow it down.

waiting for you

touch me.
leave me with
burning fires
and broken freezer doors.
im stuck in the cold
waiting for you.
your words have me
waiting for you.
i cant let go of the
web you have
left inside of my mind.
am i always going
to be waiting?

untitled x

you can love me
again,
(and again)
(and again.)
but your words
will not compare
to loving myself.
how will you love me,
like i do?

what you give, you can use

continue to
water your
soul
with the love
you give others
from your fingertips.
long lasting,
self sustaining.

afterwards

feeling like
fresh
rain
after
a hot summer.
sticky
and soothing.
your breath
like leaves
on my neck.

establishment

i am blossoming,
beautifully,
and softly.
i am steady.

SUNday

i picked the
sun up in all
its glory.
gold melting
from my hands...
igniting light that
exists within me.

ivy

i don't really remember you
like i used to.
you were such a heavy love
to carry on my mind,
it showed through my face,
i couldn't get a decent night
of rest
because of you.
you were a part of me
taking over like
vines on
a
home,
leaving it
looking worn down
and unkempt.
leaving me
looking worn down
and unkempt.
even my memories
wanted to let go of you.

exhaustion

my heart,
worn, tired
from goblins in
church suits
holding money
to bandage the pain.
that pick
at your scars
and leave you sore.
no genuine soul near me,
their actions
are too heavy.
im aching.

eighteen | god

you would think
by the way that
she floated
instead of walking...
that she would be
a god of some sorts.
she had control
in places that were
rebellious.
places that even
satan couldn't
burn or torture
with fire.
he wasn't great enough
to reach them.
living in hot places,
leaving her grace
mesmerizing minds
and capturing hearts.
with her legs,
she had people
on their knees,
bowing their
heads,
praying to experience
a love like
her.
praying to a god like her.

seventeen | record player

i hear the song
your heart sung to me
every night.
it's like a record
that keeps playing.
i'm trying to forget it.

sixteen | inside

i am having to step outside
of myself
to understand
within.

fifteen | poets

there are some poets,
whose words are like hugs
from small children to me.
these poets are greater than
they imagine.

fourteen | broken

i am touching you
over and
over
and over again,
wondering why
you don't feel
whole.
you break into pieces
inside of my
palms.

thirteen | your lover

i left your body
with love bruises
hoping to
alert
your lover
that someone else
was in her home.

twelve | past

i wonder why
my past
still holds onto me.
i'm moving forward,
but they still
won't let go.

healing | eleven

feel me healing
when i write to you.
i used love in my words. 

ten | maps

it's how we started in the beginning.
falling in, stepping out.
thinking that love was all
that could save us.
i almost forgot
how our families had made it,
we were trying to follow the same map
they used to get where they were going.
have you ever seen
a map,
with missing pieces.

nine | sun and moon

i try to
give you a call
at least once a day,
to check up on you
to remind myself that
i haven't forgotten about you.
to see if you still remember
my scent.
i hold on to that.
i know that the moon
holds onto the nighttime,
and i can't understand
why you can't be the sun,
and i be your day.
you never answer.
i haven't seen
daylight since.

seven| letting go

sometimes,
the trouble that you put
into keeping something
together,
trying to stop it
from falling into little
pieces..
is much harder than
letting it go.
watch how the wind
blows the leaves,
and how the leaves
are never afraid to go
into new places.

six

no hard feelings for those who left me
when i was broken.
some burdens are too heavy to hold.

five

love has become
so foreign to me,
leaving me in
dark alleys and
hidden rooms
locked away from the sun.
I have replaced it with
memories of laughter,
of hope,
but love doesn't
sleep
under my sheets
curled up next to me
anymore.
love doesn't stay up
to see if I will make it home
safely.
love left me alone.

four.

i am looking
for myself
in cotton candy
arrangments
and blue raspberry
skies.
hoping to stumble
upon the
cloud
that leaves me
fully rested
when i rise.

three

the way
the dress flows
over your legs
leaving me with
teal memories
remind me
of how your
gentle heart
took me under
when i thought
death
was more reasonable
than living
without sunshine.
thank you,
forever thankful.

two

you were a terrorist
to my mind.
setting off bombs,
in places where
i loved myself most.
left me with fire
in my veins,
needles in my eyes,
tears i cant cry
for the fear of you.
of becoming what you
made me.

one

past memories haunt.
torturing my soul
with thorns on roses
from lovers,
that whispered i love you
with clenched fists.

stars (to remind you)

stars.
stars every where.
stars reminding me
of my place on this earth.
that i have a place on this earth.
stars reminding me that love
is not a infinite existence.
reminding me love is short,
like a candle,
slowly melting,
but revitalizing the room.
reminding me that
hugs are a reminder
that good things
only last
for a second,
when compared to
stars.
stars reminding me
that existence is important,
memories can be painful
like grandmother raising her
voice like
a goddess
of another world
when you've spoiled your appetite
with desserts,
and lust,
and your distaste in men.
stars.
stars reminding you of the night
you reached down into your purse,
and found something
stronger than apple cider,
something to keep you from runnin'
back to the man
that put your trust
inside of his arm,
and crushed it.
stars.
like when you closed your eyes
too tight
and you waited for life
to finally show
you what it's really about.
stars.

How You Left Me

the first person
that touched me
after you
left me dirty like
tear stained,
full of snot
handkerchiefs.
i guess when you
expect love
to come out of
sweaty backs
and sex bitten necks,
you set yourself
up
for a
down
fall.
crazy how i
stumbled out of your
bed
and into the next's.
now i won't let anyone
get close enough
to touch me.

emotions

count how many
times you have
bitten your tongue,
and closed your mouth shut
for a stranger,
who only wanted to
power over you,
and cause you to stumble
against your will.
the blood spilled was
a vibrant reminder
that what is inside of us,
can be shown
to others,
that our pain
can show subtly
through our fingers,
our eyes.
the way your lips
touch the bottle
when you're nervous.
the way your soul
screams loud enough
to show through your eyes.

a tune

i let my heart
beat slowly
into a tune
that was once a lullaby
to the ones that were chosen.
the ones that were told
to hold their hands
around me,
and touch my soul
with a certain type of gentleness.
my eyes
could no longer
carry rivers,
rivers that had grown
wide over time
due to tears that
could not fall.
i still imagine
that you are here,
that your voice
will open
large doors
and cause an audience
to burst into
applause.
i still imagine
that your smile,
man,
that smile was worth every star
in the universe,
even with crooked teeth,
and less than pearly white
reflections.
my heart carries a tune for you.
a tune that will not
disappear
into the darkness,
but instead
carry me
when i feel alone,
reminding me of what was once there,
is still there,
just physically,
absent.
mentally,
you're home. 

justice

i know my words
can't heal the broken hearts
or wipe the tears
from the eyes of my brothers and sisters,
but my god,
please provide us with
the strength
to not break down
at the fists of our oppressors.
give us the ability to see
peace between one brother to another,
and allow us to continue bonding together
and spreading our souls
to each other
like blankets,
continue spreading our truth
for justice.

love, a series of short poems

she chose not
to refuse love
for she was far from afraid,
she was instead hopeful.

her soul was like the wind,

it twirled around you,

like fresh natural curls

and left you heart broken

like a rainy day. 

dreaming,

for forever only lasted

a few days. 

remember to smile at the moments

that break you down,

as much as you smile when you're happy.

you would never know love,

if you did not experience

the absence of it. 

you spent more time in my 

dreams 

than you did

in my life.

how could i forget you.

wilderness

you were a mountain of feelings
I could not put a cage on.

the way your lips curled,

i thought you were the sea.

the thorns on your love

reminded me that 

roses can hurt too.

what you birthed from our love,

was not nurtured

like a mother would care

for her child. 

you provided me with shade,

i provided you with flowers.

the water never stops flowing,

like love.

stormy weather pt 2

look at me,
while my eyes look like
raindrops falling down
never softly..
because i never knew how hard
the wind could blow
until it caused my soul
to shrink
from fear and worry,
i was almost ashamed.
i'm waiting for the sunshine.
i'm waiting for the rainbows
to decorate my crown
and keep me from stumbling
into muddy waters,
and deep puddles.
my pants have water stains
crawling up
the back of my legs
from all the hearts that i've tried to save
that left me
swimming in
violent waters.
with life,
i'm trying to stay afloat.

stormy weather pt1

they like to think
that the way the
words spill out of my
mouth,
i believe that life is
beautiful.
that the way my lips part,
and teeth show
when loving someone
that i have had it easy
loving myself.
they have me confused
with a rainbow,
when in reality
i am the storm
before it,
breaking apart
homes in my
mind,
setting things on
fire,
letting things
get destroyed.
they like to think,
that i think
the world is
beautiful.
it's hard to whisper to them,
that i do not.

Skin

I have worn my
skin for
as long as my
physical being
has existed.
watching it be stitched
with feelings
and moments almost
too unbearable to
remember.
massaging the melanin,
all the way down to my
toes,
bare,
to be closer to the earth
that birthed my
spirit.
living hand in hand
with the wind,
taking joy rides
to rid the pain from
the long nights
and the mornings
filled with so many tears,
I thought my eyes had flooded.
but I was here.
watching my skin take
curves and dips,
and still stay intact.
My soul takes notes from this

homecoming

dancing around the city lights.
smelling the fresh flowers
and blooming love.
i dream of being
in a city
where the lights walk me home,
and the art comforts me on
rainy days.
i want to taste the rain before it
falls,
fall into wine shops,
stumble into restaurants
where the food
leaves my soul warm.
i recognize the beauty
within me
when i fall into a place,
unknown.
a place that hasn't
been prepared,
just for me
and how the city
enamors my soul
when it finally becomes
my home.

carefree and black

cute black girls,
that like black guys,
that love their nappy hair
and how the sundresses fall over their waists.
that still love their size
even though
they don't have a complete peach behind,
instead,
maybe a little tight booty.
that can stand in heels for hours,
still move their hips and
bend their knees
and swing their hair,
even though, its a fro.
they speak blessings from
the fullness
of their lips,
yet are able to
shut the disrespectful
up,
and walk away with pride,
melanin rich body,
proud in the sun.
full of sass,
of royalty,
of beauty,
of journey.
dipping her hands
in a flowing river,
letting the water,
run out of her fingers,
like her problems.
she is able.
she is.

untitled

i would walk through
a sandstorm
for you.
you could leave me in the
darkness,
but i can accept
that my own light will never let
me go cold.

names

my mother should have
named me happy.
because i really want to be.
i really want to wake up
and feel like a field of
daisies..
no, sunflowers.
I want to feel the sun shining
without it beaming and burning
down my back.
I want to carry the
happiness around
without the fear of
dropping it,
watching it crack
like humpty dumpty,
and having the fear
of it never being
put back together
ever
again.
she should have named me happy.
because even when sadness
takes over me,
i will still be able to say,
that it is what i am.
that despite all odds,
my name reflects what
i would want to be.
happy.

dreaming

i've got lullabies
nudging me on my pillows
wondering why a
sad song
grew from a sweet dream.
I can't shake a nightmare
when it's about love.
I'm stuck grasping
at the air
hoping to wake up
and forget.
so that I can remember
my love in my
dreams.

rape culture

when you say that the length of her skirt
determines whether or not
a man lets his fingers take a
late night stroll up her thigh,
you are verifying that little girls
in pink onesies, deserve
to have their innocence
ripped from their bodies,
and to be tortured
for the rest of their lives.
you are saying that every man
who says no, and receives
an uncomfortable silence,
and a grab at his junk,
deserved it for turning down
what "makes him a man",
when we all know,
what makes a person an adult
is way beyond how many times
they let their heart stop beating
and allow sexual tension take a ride
through their mind, on a possible
one. way. street.
Yes will never be always.
Yes does not mean forever.
No does not mean maybe later.
No is not, never has been,
and never will be,
the beginning of a yes.

write

taking a second
to place words
together
like water
in a sink
that drains too slow.
waiting for them
to overflow
and leave the bathroom
a mess.
keeping me on the floor,
writing
writing.
w r i t i n g .
massaging the kinks
out of my neck.
providing the strength
to roll out of bed
and make a fresh cup of
tea.
allowing me to look
my ex lovers
in the face
and barely
remember their names.
i do this for you,
for the pen,
for the paper.
for my mind.
writing.

she and he

a crown of yellow
petals
decorated
the top of
her (his)
cloud of
mahogany hair.

she (he)
spoke with love,
to entice passion
in another's soul.

marked with dark brown
beauty spots,
and birth marks,
and sun spots.
she (he)
was one in another.
a blend of color,
inside of color.

for maya and eartha

I am still
mourning
for my heroes.
the one who set
inspiration
like a fire
at my front door
in my heart.
passion starting.
life long dreaming.
for they were unable
to physically
live for
eternally.

guardian angel

let me bring my light
into your heart,
and comfort you with
my wings.
I was once an angel,
flying above you,
my energy as bright
and cheerful as
the stars.
I am now here,
with you,
for you,
to protect you
against unnatural
things
set out
to spite you.
let me bring love
into your home,
and stay forever. 

bath time

i couldn't ignore
what was touching me
for the life of me.
i had to sit in it,
like a hot bath
after a long summer day.
sweat soaked body,
mixing in with the murky water
i tried to decorate with roses,
trying to make my vision a little bit
brighter.
trying to make my feelings
a little bit
more beautiful.
i couldn't ignore how i was feeling.
i had to walk right through it,
and take in the heat,
losing energy,
becoming dehydrated.
not only physically,
but mentally worn.

breakfast

i cooked breakfast.
i rolled out of bed,
planting both feet soundly
on the ground,
sighing before i let the
warmth escape from the sheets.
i knew what was coming.
i knew that once i stepped out of my
comfort
i would be walking towards
a day of
confusing explanations
and annoying emotions.
i would look out the window,
one,
two,
three times hoping
to see a familiar bird,
something to make my home feel warm
again.
i would sip on my vanilla chai,
and wonder where
i was supposed to plant my feet next.
when is the next time
in life
when i have to drag myself
out of bed,
and place my soul
somewhere unfamiliar,
for the sake of finding home.

forbidden

love was
only talked about.
never
acted
upon.
a
virgin
in a
whorehouse.

the sun was her
mansion.
she let her
bare feet
touch the ground,
her throne.

moving mountains

only the mountains
could take
her hands
and guide her
to love.
her heart swam
through the valleys
of other souls.
she laid her head in the
clouds.

do no harm to yourself

forgive yourself
for
when you
acted as
a shed
and as
a tornado

the truth

i covered my face with blue paint.
gloves snug on my fingers.
pants loosely fit.
My voice,
i deepened.
I changed my name
to Sympathy.
Introvert.
Shy.
Nobody noticed,
I had hidden my face
for so long,
my feelings had
melted into
false names,
and false understanding.
forced emotions,
and forced love.
They were used to me,
covered in blue.
They hadn't realized
I hadn't been around much at all.

the story from a dream

and she said,
let me comfort you.
let me be your sea breeze
at dawn.
let me be your lifeguard.
I will protect you,
and give you back to the ocean.

looking for answers

i keep
searching
and searching
through ages of books,
trying to figure out
whether one thing
is connected to another.
i cant settle,
i cant stop obsessing over
how the words spill together,
because life.
life just doesn't feel right.

cold water

I've watched you
wash your hands
with cold water
after long days.
I have wondered why you
would want to be
woken up, shivering,
in shock,
and not be put to sleep,
comfortably, with warmth.
I then understood why
we must stretch outside
of what we know,
and branch out,
in order to grow.

she

she gave me things
I never thought I could bare,
holding me,
grasping me,
picking me up and
laying me down
in silk and satin.
dressing my wounds in love.
she treasured me.
she treasured me
because she
was
myself.

where the sidewalk stopped

where the sidewalk stopped and i was forced to cross the street.

life told me to do it without holding anybody elses hand.

i guess that's what being alone is.

you were as gentle as a blooming flower.

you liked to hold on to hurt, i let you go.

you forgot to tell me about the girl you fell in love with,

because of course, it wasn't me.

i held on to you, like i was swinging on a hammock.

you were comfortable, but at any moment,

i could have fell.

why did you lead me here?

when i noticed the sidewalk had stopped,

i noticed that love was no longer there.

i have to cross the street now.

time

we're all getting older.
and though getting older isn't inevitable,
we don't pay attention to the fact
that time is walking with us.
if we don't take the time to acknowledge
each day,
each hour,
each moment,
time will begin to walk ahead of us.
time will leave us.

meals

i remember learning about
a guy that decided
to disappear from the normal world
and go without eating
for days,
upon days,
and some how
i thought that starving myself
for a 56 days
would give me enough
clarity
so that I could feel refreshed.
I didnt.
And when 56
turned to 63 and
63 to 79,
i started feeling like i was
wasting away,
becoming nothing,
versus gaining the whole world
inside of me.
I began portioning my emotions,
like i was portioning my meals,
trying to keep myself
from
feeling wheezy from too much anger,
and too full from to much sadness.
i couldnt bite my tongue anymore
because
i kept spoonfuls of emotions
under it,
waiting
to spit them out
when I was alone in the room.
I couldn't find the ending.
I couldn't find the ending,
because I can still look at the mirror
and see my face
bloated with sadness,
my stomach stuffed with frustration,
and my fingers swollen with lonely.

greed

there is always a fear inside me that
one day,
when i walk outside, i will fall into the wrong hands,
that the one that i love,
will leave me for the one that decides to cook his favorite meal once a month,
instead of me trying to branch out to new recipes.
have you noticed how
we love the earth,
we love how spring time feels,
we love christmas in the white chilly winter,
but we still destroy it.
i fear
that I will be that,
that pretty flower,
that large tree,
and you will prefer me in a vase,
or as a balcony;
you'll fail to realize
flowers can't grow
without soil,
and water.
and you're going to try to love me
without soul,
and passion.
and you will fail.
and you will watch me wilt,
turn deep dark colors of sorrow,
you will leave.
you'll blame your greediness,
on me.

do not overthink it

there is a part of me
that wants to remind you
that you do not have to be an oak tree
in my forest.
you do not have to be a
superhero,
the president,
or a ceo.
you just have to be yourself.
but when you look at me
and wonder if
i'm going to
break your heart into
little pieces,
worrying about if
you're doing enough
or too little.
you are putting yourself on a
stage
that was not looking for a dramatic
performance.
i was looking for you.

history

chai tea.
microphones.
baguettes.
and the scent of dark liquors.

next time someone calls me a bitch,
i will proceed to punch them in the face.

i will not question what i did to deserve that treatment.

i will not cry.

i will inflict pain.
the one time waited on a heart, they took the peace from my time.

i could not focus on the seasons changing outside.

i could not go without reminders and reassurance.

i felt tied to a dead horse.

i was the dead horse.
i remember exactly how the handprint got on the wall,

i remember exactly how it felt.

(it is not me that is the freak, but shit those times were good too)  

i questioned whether a person can get too comfortable

with their hand around someone's throat.

with their hand around somebody's heart.
do i remember. yes.
i don't mind the memories much, they weren't all bad.
you weren't all bad.
i wasn't all bad.
a lot of it was good.
do i miss you?
sometimes the best answer to a question is hidden

somewhere where it doesn't need to be known

waiting for the right time to appear,

if to appear at all.

love doesn't fade,

real love.
but at the same time,
I'm not sure love hides,
or hurts,
or disappears.
I'm not sure what your mentality
made me out to be
when in reality,
it seemed like you hated me.
but that's okay,
I have nothing but respect for your grind
anyways.
Just don't act like it was me,
who urgently walked away.
I just didn't want to be that girl,
who gave you the world,
while you took the light
from her heart,
and left her with nothing but
an ball of darkness.
I would have waited for you,
but you tried to have a smart girl
doing stupid things,
and honey that's just not for me.
I still care for you,
I am still there for you.
But I don't have time to deal with mind
games,
you need to be upfront
with what you're wanting to say.
Or you need to just continue
admiring me
from a distance,
your call.
your choice.
I will always be surrounded by love,
regardless.

playing doctor

I cannot fix broken people.
it is not my place
to sweep up
all of your pieces,
and melt them back together.
I can not be your band-aid,
your antiseptic,
your doctor.
I can love you,
but my love does not come
with the requirement of
fixing you.
I cannot assure you that
I will be able to
keep you from falling apart,
however,
I can hold your hand
while you save yourself.
I can help you
by being there,
but I cannot be your only
help.

standing stagnant

you will not move far
if you keep your feet
so rooted in the ground
that you forget that
in order to grow
you have to move,
change,
be.
life is not as simple
as standing firmly
on the same ground,
never questioning
or testing
what you believe.

body image

dear body,
your democratic procedure
of letting
every muscle
and bone,
the blood,
and all of my cells,
make decisions on what is
best for me
is quite helpful.
however,
let my mind know
that even when my cheeks
expand
and look like tiny balloons,
and when my stomach
only slightly bulges out,
(right after i finished nachos
and a big glass of water),
that I am not a defined weight.
i am not a negative
connotation
that i make up in my head
by watching my favorite
television show,
or seeing girl one,
girl two,
and girl three
who probably have the same thoughts
that i do
late at night,
wondering why
my muffin top
does not look appetizing
as muffins are made to be.
remind my mind,
that i am here,
and i am beautiful
and my body is doing exactly
what it is supposed to.
growing.

beauty

when i moved,
the world got silent,
the room stopped spinning.
it's like i stopped everyone
dead in their tracks
and made them question
what kind of deal i made
with the universe
to turn out like this.

here

I tip toe across darkness
careful not
to cause any unnecessary
cracks
and creases
only to make my mind
worsen.
fall deeply
into an
infinite
experience
of night
and day
but within the mind
and the nighttime
isn't so pretty
inside the head.

light a candle.

for mother

sittin' on the couch,
for hours and hours
replayin' the same
funny lines from our
favorite movies.
the wind that blows
through the leaves.
you birthed me,
carrying me,
watching me sprout long legs,
a head full of hair,
scholarly,
creative,
full of confidence.
you did that.
you are the greatest gift
that mother earth could
have ever given me.
you are the
only gift that has ever mattered.
there shall never be a
day in which we part,
for you are always here,
and I am always here,
and we will always be in
each other's hearts.

there is no important reason why

you don't need to know about the
mole on her stomach,
that looks like a continent,
even though you feel like she pulled
him miles away from you.

you don't need to know about
how he felt doubt when it came to you,
because he thought of you like vanilla ice cream,
and he was more of a pistachio flavor kinda guy.

it isn't important to know
how many times he thinks of you,
if he thinks of you at all,
if you even know the path of his
mind anymore.

you just accept and let go,
move on,
move forward.
you need to remind yourself
how you loved before him,
and you will love after him.
you were always yourself
without him.

Healer

I am the nurse. 

I am the caretaker to the broken hearted. I am the secret holder, 

the truth giver, 

the one that consoles. 

I am the one who loves 

the half empty hearts. 

I fix the broken cups. 

I bandage the broken memories. 

I am the lover. 

I am the chance giver. 

I am the goddess of love 

and forgiveness. 

I am the late night phone call. 

I am the sip of whiskey. 

I am the tissue the wipes the tears. 

I am the healer. 


But….who heals the healer?

within

and I used to question.
now I no longer wonder,
I no longer try to “get it”,
I simply am.
I am within all that I need to be at this moment

to be remembered

she was a beauty
disguised
as a disaster;
focused on falling
into broken buildings,
and building homes
out of hay.
shelter to the unloved,
a hospital to the broken.
she wanted to be remembered
by her heart,
never by her face.

queendom

I am rebuilding a kingdom.
a kingdom fit for a woman,
a woman with pride,
and joy,
and love.
the difference is,
this kingdom needs no man.
so forgive me
if I don't follow your silly words
and your flirty lies.
I may not respond
to your hand on my thigh
or your lips on my cheek,
for I am one within myself.
I am the one I need.

one of love

I opened myself,
like a window,
and let all of the light
in my soul,
shine outside of me.
my goal is to be infinite.
I am a goddess,
and I strive to be remembered,
as one of love.

i wrote about you

I wrote about you,
not because my whole world evolved around you,
but because you were an entire world.
you were beauty.
you were an undocumented
species,
in the depths of the ocean
that we haven't even discovered yet.
I wrote about you,
not because you were calm,
but because you let passion
run through your fingers
into my heart.
you were a candle,
waiting to be lit,
a bomb,
waiting to go off.
I wrote about you,
not because I loved you,
but because my words loved you,
the pen, the ink,
the keyboard,
the screen,
the open document,
they loved you.
and I dare not ignore
what my mind tells me to
speak.
I wrote about you,
because you weren't mine,
you were all yours,
but you were able to share a piece
of you,
with me.

drowning

my only concern at this point is how I can heal me.
I cant always worry about who else is under water,
next thing I know,
i'll be drowning too.

they should have warned us

they don't warn you about love,
and the lovers that wont love you back.
and how bad it hurts,
and you'll want to blame yourself,
for every little mistake,
every little chip and crack
in the glass.
they don't warn you,
that sometimes
your effort
does not equal
obligation.
and your effort
does not mean
reciprocated love.
some hearts are not meant to be held.
some hearts are fresh out the oven
and if you hold on to long,
you'll find yourself
with burns,
and welts all over your hands.
you'll put to much pressure
on yourself,
and instead of turning into a diamond,
you will turn into sand.
they didn't warn you about that.
they didn't warn you about how it hurts,
how it pulls,
and how it feels like you've
dipped your heart into ice water,
and you're watching it slowly
stop.
they didn't warn you about that.

Praise yourself

life of love

missed opportunities

i had to choose.
i had to choose or
you were going to be
the death of
my selfless loving
ways,
and my happy to compromise
behavior.
i had to choose.
because while you were
so busy,
searching for different
diamonds
and roses.
searching for the one
to hold your hand at
night,
and rub
the soft spot
below your hairline.
you were looking for
someone to
fluff your pillow
and cover you up
while you shivered
during your slumber.
someone to be the
ex-tra-ordinary
lover.
i thought it would have been me.
i thought that
making sure you were fed,
giving you your time,
scrubbing your back,
and sharing the most
intimate
moments with you
would have been it.
instead,
i could not have been your lover,
i know,
you love me,
but you don’t love me like
i love you.
i am deeply in love with you.
i am sure of you.
you are still searching.
now where does that leave me.

Stop

Stop dating men
who tell you they
love you,
after they've
drowned their problems
in whiskey.
Stop dating men
who run away
at the thought of
you telling how
you REALLY feel.
they"ll never be able
to handle your truth.
Stop dating men
who think the only way
to get you to listen
is to throw their hand
around your neck
and becoming a monster
in your ears.
Stop dating men
who ignore when
you say you miss them.
who complain of
your sensitivity
your "clingy" personality
or how you're overreacting.
Stop.
Because you deserve
someone who listens
REALLY listens
to your every word,
who knows the inside of
you,
not just through
your pussy.
but through your mind as well.
You deserve more
than a lust-filled
boy who likes
to claim he's "real",
yet he cannot communicate
without tearing down
your character.
Stop.
From here on out.
No more.
You deserve the best.

dear past me

there is no perfect time

anybody that tells me
that they are waiting
for the perfect time
to capture my love,
and love me in return,
i have learned,
have little or no
intentions of ever
loving me back.

Cheating Yourself

I used to get excited
to see your name
show up on my phone
late at night,
while i was at work,
when i was in the shower.
I would rush and hurry
to respond to make sure
you didn't lose interest,
and that you would reply
just as fast as
dried off my legs
and failed to rub lotion on.
And then I realized,
I was doing the same with you.
I was rushing,
hurrying,
making sure that we took each
step
one after another
without taking a break,
to make sure
that you didn't lose interest,
like i knew you eventually would.
I wasn't right for you,
and I tried to avoid that fact,
because I loved you.
I made you a country
in my world,
something like
Germany
in World War II.
You dominated.
And I tried to ignore that
at the end of the day,
you had more to find out about
yourself.
You weren't certain.
Instead of me acknowledging that
and passing you on
to yourself,
I tried to aid in your growth.

I became naive enough,
to let you stunt mine.

Lessons

Regret is not progress

Fantasy love

If I could


I would fall in love,


not carefully,


but clumsily.


dangerously. 


i would lose count 
of 

how many times 

we’ve 
screamed I love you.

I wouldn’t have enough 


fingers or toes to 
number 

how often


we stay up all night


day dreaming


about what our combined love


will make


and how passionately 


we’d make a life together. 


we wouldnt give up. 


not because we didn’t have


the option,


but instead


because we saw no one


with as beautiful


and intertwined


a love like ours.

Love yourself before you love me

Darkness

at least i was your something

it isn't hard

to see that

i am your

3 am thoughts,

your drunk words,

and i know that i always will be.

that's okay.

even if i can never be

the lover of your dreams,

nor the lover you

whisk away 

with lifelong

commitment,

it was a wonderful journey,

to be there,

while you were drinking your

vodka,

and you were 

waiting for your dreams

to come up 

to your eyes

late at night,

when you couldn't sleep.

walking

i hope that me leaving,
brings you a
breath of fresh air.
a relief,
a sense of a new leaf.
i hope you don't forget
the sun
waking us up in the morning.
i hope that you can see the
imprint of the smile
you left in my eyes.
i hope that you can see
the indent
me leaving,
has left in my mind.

intuition

i thought that if
i silenced you enough,
you would disappear.
i assumed that you
were here to destroy
everything i came across
with anxiety
and confusion.
like a rebellious teen,
i recognized what you could
be harming,
instead of
what you were really saving me from.

nourishment

tears fall down your face,
falling apart
on your bathroom floor,
like petals off of
a dying flower,
the leaves
of a tree,
and then hours later,
when you thought the sun would never
appear again,
you bloom,
and you can smile.
the tears
are
watering your roots.

womanhood (10 through 12)

X

you are a woman.

brilliantly, beautifully

a goddess

created to bring bloom

to the flowers,

and sun 

to the rainy days. 

XI

queen,

sometimes you

let your love

fall into the hands

of thieves.

that doesn't mean

you should give

your love

any less.

XII

have you watched

the way 

your skin lights up

when you dance in the sun,

and sing with the moon?

you are one

with mother earth.

spring fools

try and tell me
that i am not honey
to your wounds,
and i will question
why you ignore the
blatant truth.
my love spreads on your
body
like butter
on warm biscuits,
and goes deep
inside of you
like a humming bird,
tasting a sweet
hibiscus flower.
yet, you still act,
like i am not
the most beautiful
love
you have ever
encountered?

Womanhood (7 through 9)

part VII
a step forward
in a word dominated
by men,
unaware of the
strength of being gentle,
by a woman
is contagious.

part VIII
she let the words
of her heartbreak
of her oppression
of her compassion
fall from her lips,
like delicate flowers
from a magnolia tree.

part IX
you can ask a woman
can she walk in heels,
but know for sure,
she can walk into a room,
and let her confidence
shine brighter than the sun.

Continental Love

Womanhood (4 through 6)

part IV

she balanced beauty

on the top of her crown,

while also walking delicately

on top of knowledge.

her greatness

was infinite.

part V

she had grace,

but she was more concerned

with how she

spoke to herself

early in the morning

and how she tucked herself

into bed late at night.

she wanted to love

herself.

part VI

she favored a queen,

she was a goddess.

she turned to her own

love

to make herself

better.

she saved herself.

she became

better.

Womanhood (1 through 3)

part I

 What use is it to be sexy,
And not also use your brain
As your secret weapon.

part II

She kept
Her entire world
In a locked chest
Within her reach.
She only revealed the key
To those
Who had
A chest of their own.

part III

She was always
Dancing with time,
Never missing a second.
Never bargaining
And trading it
With someone that
Didn’t understand the
Beauty of her clocks.

to do list

I just want someone that

texts me in the middle of the night

when they can't sleep, even if I am

to tired to reply. 

someone that

tells me all of their thoughts

even the painful little ones,

the ones they thought no one cared about. 

a thousand and more 

times of telling me they love me,

listening to my ramble

writing down the details

mentally. 

a cute text here and there

describing how my hand 

feels in the middle of the night

when I'm holding them.

I want them to love me.

Differences

I am a poet. 

Sometimes I forget

That I feel in stanzas, and

Talk with a rhythm

Only poets use. 

I expect people to explain

Their mornings with

Intricate details

'Well I danced lightly

Through the warming sun

While feeling the cool breeze

On my neck,

As I searched for something

To nourish my physical form.'

And instead 

I get

'I had cereal, my morning was fine.'

I am a poet. 

And I have to remember

I'm different. 

I speak different. 

I feel

Different. 

Her (skin)

Africa (Brown is Beauty)

beauty.
descendants of
the melanin rich
motherland.
the birth of
royalty.
the holder of beauty.
the country of
grace,
strength,
constant beginnings
after attempted endings.
brown will always
be beautiful.
we will always be
thankful
for your giving.

I can't keep silent about my love for you

I could tip toe across
the garden of flowers
in your heart,
But
I want to make my presence
a bit more known.

Soul Friends

I meet the most beautiful
people
by stumbling
into their storms
and dancing with them
in their rain.

kingdom

there is nothing
more
painful
than watching
my black
brothers,
king made
beings,
with such
mighty blood
pumping
through strong veins,
being treated
with such
hatred.
they want you
to believe
that you are a carcass,
found on the side of the road,
with no significance,
only there
for the lowest of animals,
the dirtiest of animals
to feed off of your
death.
they forget your royalty.
you,
black men,
you belong at the top of the sun,
shining down,
glistening,
walking
with grace.
you,
black men,
you deserve to sit on
top of clouds,
smiling and laughing
and living life
with such glory.
blackness is not a disease.
it is a blessing.
and while the vultures,
the maggots,
work sun up
and sun down
to destroy you,
you will always
be the king
of this jungle.

separation from beauty

I can be beautiful,

but do not attach me

to a word

that creates 

so much tension 

between my sisters. 

causing us to fight for

attention

amongst men. 

let me be as free as the wind.

I am a tree,

surrounded by many other trees,

and we each have leaves of

beauty. 

we each

have beauty. 

but we also all

contain different types of

nectar

and we each grow 

in different types of soul. 

but that doesn't make us

any less of nature's

creation. 

I can be beautiful. 

but our hearts make it easier

to tell us apart. 

we are not a word

of separation. 

we all have a part of it

thriving from our roots.

in love with self

I am
The flower
That bloomed
In the closet
That stood tall
In the lonely garden.
That showed love
To the broken hearted.

3 Months of Solitary

Month One.

A single flower

Blooming

in a dark room

fed Confusion,

Disgust,

and 

Frustration. 

Month Two. 

Flowers

grow

even in the darkest

places,

even the most

beautiful flowers,

find

solitude

in a lonely

garden.

Month Three.

the flower

sprouts

a

bud.

lovers nature

I'll journey softly with you,
careful enough not
to ruin your leaves,
and upset your roots,
but beside you,
so you can know that
I am the wind,
gently blowing
with
you.

lovers holding

I am
holding
your hand
reminding you
of how warm
and close
love is.

my words have energy

Let
My
Words
Create
Galaxies
In
Your
Heart.

Space

Maybe
my world
and your world
were meant to collide
and create a beautiful universe
on its own.
Something only we
would understand.

Let me remind you of how love feels

I know you forgot,

But I loved you

Even when

You became 

A disaster. 

Here is my reminder. 

For Lee

Sophisticated individual

Falling

Into 

Life's complications

And frustrations,

trying to

keep the

peace and solitude

in your heart.

The joy.

you know you're worth a thousand

words

our memories are worth 

a thousand pictures. 

You are magnificent.

And I'm not fond of cliches

But 

You are still the mighty superman

in my comic book.

Let the sun

open up your heart

And shine light into the feelings

of hurt

in your soul. 

Let me place strong roots

that birth luscious trees

with the greenest leaves

and the sweetest fruit

inside of your heart

to intensify

your love. 

I happy you.

I happy your happy.

Journey

I
broke
many oceans,
climbed
many mountains,
cried
many tears
to get here.
my shoes are broken,
but my soul is
stronger,
now that I know
how
calm
alone is.

You have the tools you need

I am not a temporary solution 

to solve your forever lonely problems. 

I am not the x 

nor the y you are solving for. 

I am not a perpendicular line that you experience once and 

then go on your way.

Either love me forever

or leave me alone.

Find what you are looking for 

inside of yourself. 

Mathematics does not

hold the solutions

to my love. 

I cannot find the answer

to fix your self. 

the cycle of forgettting

I didn't realize how badly
I wanted you around,
until you decided
to describe me
as something that you
constantly remember.
After not spending
over 15 years,
in the home
that nursed my scabbed
knees,
and held my
Sunday dinners,
I could barely remember
what color the walls were.
(how interesting is it
that I remember the short
rose bush
that housed pink roses,
outside in the front of the house)
I thought I would have a
harder time
remembering something
that I thought
I had forgotten.
I thought I had forgotten you.
Love showed me otherwise.
(The roses are still blooming)

love

love.

the nutrients that fuel

my every being,

pulling me closer to the

sunlight

on the dark days.

even when I feel alone,

I feel as though

love is still holding on to me.

grasping my hips,

holding my hand.

the maiden name

of my ancestors.

my destiny.

what I walk towards

every morning when

the sun whispers over my skin,

and the sound of birds

bury themselves inside of my

ears. 

beautiful.

love makes everything beautiful.

even the dirty things,

getting your toes muddy,

having your eyes 

covered in 

salt water.

still beautiful.

I've learned that love

is the very meaning

of my existence.

The very thing that

takes me out of the physical world

and puts my words

my spirit.

in the hearts of others.

one unfinished love story

I think that your
deep brown skin,
and your
smooth accent
heavy voice
could be good for me.
yet,
ill never let my mouth
whisper your name
until. . .

One Day, You will love me

to the man that will love me
unconditionally,
for eternity.
your gentleness is appreciated.
your sensitivity,
when the world tells you to be
hard,
is noticed,
and adored.
your strength to tell me
the truth,
even when it burns the
tip of your tongue,
I am thankful for that.
While you learn
the curves of my body,
as well as the change
in my tone,
patience will be understood,
forgiveness will be known,
love will always be there.

stop forcing yourself

I am starting to realize
that my alone time
is just as valuable
than my time with others.
I am learning this,
after years of forcing myself
to be in an overwhelming amount
of social situations,
for too long
for the sake of society's
"guidelines".
I am happier now.

do not ask for too much of something

There's a thin line
when receiving what you
have asked for.
Sometimes you receive
exactly what you want,
in a perfect amount.
Other times,
you get an overwhelming
flow of what
you thought you wanted,
but in abundance,
you realize you don't
want it much at all.
Ask for what you need.

understanding

I want him to understand
that sometimes,
I am full of an innocent joy.
I will wake up,
as goofy as a child on an early Saturday morning,
and I will leave corny
love letters
throughout the day,
bringing across the laughter
of a youth
seeing a clown.
Other days,
I want him to be the fire inside of my mind,
and slightly burning up my thighs,
and the kisses on my neck,
and
I want him to be here,
beside me,
under me,
on top of me.
But..
sometimes, I am
cold.
I prefer to be left alone,
to experience my feelings
by myself.
Sometimes I will act like I don't
want him around,
but I will expect him to love me anyways.
I will expect him to love me anyways.
on the darkest days,
on the days where nothing but passion
flows out of my mouth,
and some days I will want the youth
of love.

me

I am combination of demons,
blended in with the most beautiful
flowers.
I am a thunderstorm,
on a summer day.
Don't let me
destroy you
with love.

the motions of my mind

I am teaching myself
how to be comfortable with
crying one second,
then smiling the next.

temptation

temptation.
a manipulation of the mind
to believe that my legs
would be best placed around your neck.
the feeling of a hot shower,
with you,
when we know we aren't supposed to.
me touching you in places
that belong to the darkness.
belief that the lust,
deep in your veins,
will keep me safe at night,
when I know
this is only
a late night,
rendezvous
that should never have
happened.
temptation

distance

Distance was the best teacher for me,
about you.
And though you’re far away,
I constantly feel close,
to you.

it would be a nice gift,
for you to be my bed
on my lonely days

some things require patience

I am trying to understand myself,
while trying to teach us both
on how to love me.

to you

thank you
for being enough of
a sweetheart
to inspire me.
you are the perfect
cup of tea
on my cold days.

would you still like me to love you

i am the wind.
you are the land.
and i am not sure how to touch you
without causing you damage.

lovers in a broken city

he considered me a
beautiful catastrophe,
a city
that built itself up
and let itself fall
over and over again.
we described my mind
as the most intricate
architecture.
he became my favorite
late night phone call.
my favorite
only distant lover.
he was a transfusion,
that would flow through
my veins,
explaining his need
to be there.
he was different,
and he needed nothing more,
but to show his
genuine intentions,
and he received love.
he wanted to grasp
he wanted to understand
what made my skin crawl,
what made my knees weak,
what made rain fall from my eyes.
he wanted to understand how
the sun set every night,
into darkness,
and rose again
in the morning,
as strong and beautiful as before.
he wanted to walk with me.

maybe you are all that you need

I want you to know,
I respect your decision.
I respect that your journey has pulled you
to walk away,
to leave.
I respect that you have listened.
There is nothing more important
than the safe journey of your soul.
Do for you.
Do it all for you.
Be selfish and selfless
with your love.
Share your love,
but remember yourself.
Please,
Remember Yourself.
You will always be there.

thank you heart

When I find myself,
back to writing about the
trouble that you gave me,
I realize that my heart is
teaching me how to heal,
and then let go.

you captured color with your eyes, i captured it with my words

i took out my box
of all the knicks and knacks
i use to craft things
almost as beautiful as you.
you sat there,
in the dim light
slightly shivering
because you wanted to
be crafted bare,
which wasn't much of a surprise
you took pride in your nudity.
no shade of brown that i had
was beautiful enough
to represent you.
so i decided to make art
as colorful as your personality.
i took your love
and shaded the canvas with
deep reds and soft pinks,
careful not to make it too defined
however not too wild.
i took your compassion
and paired with with sunny yellows,
everlasting greens.
my favorite part of you,
your beauty,
was as effortless as the sky,
so i shaded it as such,
light and night time blues.
you were a reason to wake up
in the mornings.
you were as mysterious as
midnight.
your passion i made
with bright reds,
eye catching oranges.
i finished you with white,
you're not easily seen by some,
but with the right people,
you shine brighter than a star.
you're more beautiful than a masterpiece.
you are more beautiful than what i could ever draw.

a taste of a dream

I like it
when the street lights are bright,
and I can feel you whisper
my name into my mouth.

I like it
when I can see how shy
you get when I'm in
your presence
and your hands start sweating
and your throat feels
like a lump of overly
soaked cotton.

I like it
when you call me yours,
and you act like I don't notice
how you stumble over your words
when you walk into the same room
as me.

I like it
how I can feel
how genuinely
you want to touch me,
mentally.
Physically too,
but baby I can tell that's
not what is on your mind right now.

But what I like the most is how
I can feel myself walking into you,
and I can trust what's inside of you,
to be good to what's inside of me.
I just want you to love me,
while I love you freely.

You're the perfect person,
that stepped out of my dreams,
into my reality.

unwanted feelings

when you ask someone to leave,
when you tell someone,
they are not worthy in your space,
you cannot show anger towards
them for following your instructions.
when you realize they are no longer around
and you want to feel their soul connect with yours
remember,
you get what you ask for.

Tomorrow

Nothing good has ever
come out of hating yourself,
hating your body,
hating your life,
hating the universe inside of you.
Take one day
and love everything about you:
the little scar above your eye,
the mole on your finger,
your "nappy" hair,
the way you wake up in the morning,
how your face feels before you've
covered it with makeup
and disgust,
and comparison.
And then take the next day,
and the next week.
Watch how the universe begins
to return the love you
are pouring out of yourself.

be big

when the person that you love,
treats you like you are not worthy
of their love,
let them go.
their love is toxic to you,
and will teach you to belittle yourself.
you need to grow.

do you understand loyalty

you had me in the
palm of your hands, but you thought
hurting me was fine.

Reminders and Directions

Maybe the sunshine goes out
in my eyes,
when I need to remember
how I got through the
darkness.

To Rest

here I am,
carrying a chip on my shoulder
that gives me the illusion of
carrying the
world on
my back.
Such a small thing,
causing so many problems
and I am still supposed to smile.
spare me
the "i have to be strong"
bullshit,
sometimes I just want
to lay down my head,
and
rest until I feel sane again.

for my loves

occasionally,
I ask the universe
how it decides
who walks into my life,
whether it is random
(which I now know for sure
it is definitely not)
because there was definitely
a reason for meeting you.
I can see how
our galaxies
collide,
into beautiful
colors, and
beautiful collection of stars.
I see myself in you,
and I see the sun
every time I experience
your happiness.
I experience rain,
every time the clouds
get you down.
I question how anyone,
much rather you,
could look at yourself
and see anything but
perfection.
pure gold.
You reflection
shows the genuine
intention,
and deep love
you have experienced,
and how strong you have
become.
I see in you,
your mother,
your ancestors,
your moments in heaven,
your moments from hell.
And there is no one,
that I could
replace
your soul
with.
Thank You.
You have brightened my life
beyond understanding.
I am sending
so much love
to you,
for always.

This is for you

When you came to love me,
I learned the difference between
being loved,
and being used.
Then I learned,
you didn't really love me at all.

is that enough

I still believe in you,
is that enough?
even though you have become
an unrecognizable face
in the crowd
until you decide you are lonely
and decide you want to get a taste
of my world again
(however, that only lasts a second).
I don't know where you went.
I don't know where the love
went.
I don't know what the love is.
shit,
I don't know what I did.
But I'm still here,
I still believe in you
and on your darkest hours,
remember that I am sending you
the brightest light.
I am still cheering you on,
even though I'm not on the field,
I'm hiding behind the stands
until you acknowledge me again.

you are the strongest tree

honey,
you are as sweet as sugar.
your words soothe aching souls.
your arms have embraced
not only the most broken,
but also yourself.
don't give up on yourself.
don't give up on the love you
have to give.
let yourself grow,
lose leaves,
break some branches.
just remember you are getting
stronger,
making room for
better leaves.
gaining stronger roots.

shine your light loudly so others can hear

you are
an edible collection
of letters,
a cluster of words
that spell out
the most delectable
chocolate.
you are all of the riches,
that the queen wears
to a ceremony
of the departing of a life,
and all of the control
the king has over
his largest army.
you are a paradox,
a combination of far right
and far left ideas,
a beautiful safe containing
love letters,
a tragic mess of heartbreaks.
stop hating yourself,
when you are the one
that has been pulling yourself up
all of these years.
you're worth a beautiful symphony
of words.
sing the song of
your soul
loudly.

stay away from the water if you cannot swim

if you expect me
to silence my words,
cover my hurt,
and let go of my strength,
you have no reason
to try to speak to my soul,
much less to the life
in between my legs.
you don't go to the ocean
and ask it to stop creating waves,
because you are afraid of
drowning.

ill love the parts of you that you hate

if you can trust me,
let me speak light
into your wounds
to brighten up the places
that people have ruined
with their darkness.
let me bandage the places
with love,
to remind you that you are still,
as well as have been,
and always will be
beautiful.
that your soul is more than just
a container for
other people's problems.
it is more than the
cuts,
scars,
burns,
it is a beautiful
collection of
stars.

speechless

I cannot describe myself with words.
whether this is a good thing,
or a bad thing.
I am satisfied.

welcome morning

i like the mornings after
painful nights
the most.
my soul likes to listen,
heal,
and repair itself
while i am deep in slumber.
i'm thankful that my heart
likes to piece itself
back together peacefully.

love is my lighthouse

and sometimes,
the only words I feel like
whispering out
are "I" "love" "you".
it's the only thing
that comforts me,
when things have gotten
too dark.

recovery intertwined with relapse

just when I think that
the world has stopped spinning
too fast for me to catch my breath,
and the sea has slowed down
so I can stop drowning
in its salty arms,
I get washed over
by a wave of
frustration,
anxiety,
despair,
and I have to learn to crawl again,
to the sand,
so I can rest.

you let the poison seep into my wounds

learn to let go
of the ones
that douse
your name in poison
when they speak it.

you dont have to be small

you are as gentle as a cool breeze,
and as powerful as the sun.
stop selling your self short for others.
you can be great,
and they can be great.
nature needs multiple things to prosper.

forgetfulness

Your name is another collection of letters
in the alphabet I learned when I was younger.
It no longer forms a specific word to me,
nothing special,
just a cluster of letters
that will be forgotten as soon
as I rest my bags at the door
and start a midday snack.
Comfort.
Because when we were young,
we weren't confined to our
memories of the
hurt,
the boy that picked on us,
the girl that had the "cooties".
By the time the day was over,
we only had our future dreams.
Your name is just another nightmare
in the past,
another thing I'll forget as I rise
in the morning.

unapologetically naked

i think the most confident thing to do as a black woman is be confident with your naked self.
and not only nude physically, sexually.
but nude with how you are mentally, spiritually.
be in love with the curves of your body, as well as the depth of your mind.
be beautiful,
let the truth spill from your lips.
don't let yourself be caged for their approval.

you thought my heart was small

I keep little pieces
of all of the
hearts that have
fell deep
into the well
of my soul.
I still remember you,
and I am thankful for your
hurt,
your happy,
your flaws,
and your
little insecurities
that broke my
"little" heart.
when I ripped away
your pieces,
it made me feel
whole again.

in regards of my naked body

the only hands I am in are mine,
honestly.
I let out,
what I have no fear of showing up later
on in my journey.
I show,
what I am proud of.

i am not your sexual object

did you love her?
did you really love her?
or did you just like how your tongue
felt roaming down her side.
did you understand how her body works,
or was she only a sexual toy
used for objectification to pleasure
the most used part of your body.
did you understand her mind?
is she just a sex symbol to you?
can you appreciate her body as art?
ask yourself that the next time your
hand slides down a woman’s body.
you can love her without an orgasm

i happy you

i happy you,

is that possible?

is it possible for you

to emit a happy.

for happy to be a verb.

like love, 

it makes you feel good,

makes me smile.

when i happy you,

i want you around more,

i want you to feel 

the joy that i am trying

to shed onto your shoulders.

leaving you awake at night,

smiling,

because you have been kissed

with happiness. 

i want you to fall asleep

when you need more rest

because i happy you.

i value you.

i desire your happiness.

your happy 

makes me happy.

your happy requires my patience.

my happy requires your patience.

understanding.

maybe happy is the cousin

of the strong drug of love,

but i think happy is much stronger. 

i feel much more intertwined

with your heart

when i happy you. 

i love you,

but i want to happy you, more.