missed opportunities

i had to choose.
i had to choose or
you were going to be
the death of
my selfless loving
ways,
and my happy to compromise
behavior.
i had to choose.
because while you were
so busy,
searching for different
diamonds
and roses.
searching for the one
to hold your hand at
night,
and rub
the soft spot
below your hairline.
you were looking for
someone to
fluff your pillow
and cover you up
while you shivered
during your slumber.
someone to be the
ex-tra-ordinary
lover.
i thought it would have been me.
i thought that
making sure you were fed,
giving you your time,
scrubbing your back,
and sharing the most
intimate
moments with you
would have been it.
instead,
i could not have been your lover,
i know,
you love me,
but you don’t love me like
i love you.
i am deeply in love with you.
i am sure of you.
you are still searching.
now where does that leave me.