there is no important reason why

you don't need to know about the
mole on her stomach,
that looks like a continent,
even though you feel like she pulled
him miles away from you.

you don't need to know about
how he felt doubt when it came to you,
because he thought of you like vanilla ice cream,
and he was more of a pistachio flavor kinda guy.

it isn't important to know
how many times he thinks of you,
if he thinks of you at all,
if you even know the path of his
mind anymore.

you just accept and let go,
move on,
move forward.
you need to remind yourself
how you loved before him,
and you will love after him.
you were always yourself
without him.

i wrote about you

I wrote about you,
not because my whole world evolved around you,
but because you were an entire world.
you were beauty.
you were an undocumented
species,
in the depths of the ocean
that we haven't even discovered yet.
I wrote about you,
not because you were calm,
but because you let passion
run through your fingers
into my heart.
you were a candle,
waiting to be lit,
a bomb,
waiting to go off.
I wrote about you,
not because I loved you,
but because my words loved you,
the pen, the ink,
the keyboard,
the screen,
the open document,
they loved you.
and I dare not ignore
what my mind tells me to
speak.
I wrote about you,
because you weren't mine,
you were all yours,
but you were able to share a piece
of you,
with me.

Cheating Yourself

I used to get excited
to see your name
show up on my phone
late at night,
while i was at work,
when i was in the shower.
I would rush and hurry
to respond to make sure
you didn't lose interest,
and that you would reply
just as fast as
dried off my legs
and failed to rub lotion on.
And then I realized,
I was doing the same with you.
I was rushing,
hurrying,
making sure that we took each
step
one after another
without taking a break,
to make sure
that you didn't lose interest,
like i knew you eventually would.
I wasn't right for you,
and I tried to avoid that fact,
because I loved you.
I made you a country
in my world,
something like
Germany
in World War II.
You dominated.
And I tried to ignore that
at the end of the day,
you had more to find out about
yourself.
You weren't certain.
Instead of me acknowledging that
and passing you on
to yourself,
I tried to aid in your growth.

I became naive enough,
to let you stunt mine.

at least i was your something

it isn't hard

to see that

i am your

3 am thoughts,

your drunk words,

and i know that i always will be.

that's okay.

even if i can never be

the lover of your dreams,

nor the lover you

whisk away 

with lifelong

commitment,

it was a wonderful journey,

to be there,

while you were drinking your

vodka,

and you were 

waiting for your dreams

to come up 

to your eyes

late at night,

when you couldn't sleep.

walking

i hope that me leaving,
brings you a
breath of fresh air.
a relief,
a sense of a new leaf.
i hope you don't forget
the sun
waking us up in the morning.
i hope that you can see the
imprint of the smile
you left in my eyes.
i hope that you can see
the indent
me leaving,
has left in my mind.

I can't keep silent about my love for you

I could tip toe across
the garden of flowers
in your heart,
But
I want to make my presence
a bit more known.

lovers nature

I'll journey softly with you,
careful enough not
to ruin your leaves,
and upset your roots,
but beside you,
so you can know that
I am the wind,
gently blowing
with
you.

lovers holding

I am
holding
your hand
reminding you
of how warm
and close
love is.

For Lee

Sophisticated individual

Falling

Into 

Life's complications

And frustrations,

trying to

keep the

peace and solitude

in your heart.

The joy.

you know you're worth a thousand

words

our memories are worth 

a thousand pictures. 

You are magnificent.

And I'm not fond of cliches

But 

You are still the mighty superman

in my comic book.

Let the sun

open up your heart

And shine light into the feelings

of hurt

in your soul. 

Let me place strong roots

that birth luscious trees

with the greenest leaves

and the sweetest fruit

inside of your heart

to intensify

your love. 

I happy you.

I happy your happy.

You have the tools you need

I am not a temporary solution 

to solve your forever lonely problems. 

I am not the x 

nor the y you are solving for. 

I am not a perpendicular line that you experience once and 

then go on your way.

Either love me forever

or leave me alone.

Find what you are looking for 

inside of yourself. 

Mathematics does not

hold the solutions

to my love. 

I cannot find the answer

to fix your self. 

the cycle of forgettting

I didn't realize how badly
I wanted you around,
until you decided
to describe me
as something that you
constantly remember.
After not spending
over 15 years,
in the home
that nursed my scabbed
knees,
and held my
Sunday dinners,
I could barely remember
what color the walls were.
(how interesting is it
that I remember the short
rose bush
that housed pink roses,
outside in the front of the house)
I thought I would have a
harder time
remembering something
that I thought
I had forgotten.
I thought I had forgotten you.
Love showed me otherwise.
(The roses are still blooming)

one unfinished love story

I think that your
deep brown skin,
and your
smooth accent
heavy voice
could be good for me.
yet,
ill never let my mouth
whisper your name
until. . .

One Day, You will love me

to the man that will love me
unconditionally,
for eternity.
your gentleness is appreciated.
your sensitivity,
when the world tells you to be
hard,
is noticed,
and adored.
your strength to tell me
the truth,
even when it burns the
tip of your tongue,
I am thankful for that.
While you learn
the curves of my body,
as well as the change
in my tone,
patience will be understood,
forgiveness will be known,
love will always be there.

stop forcing yourself

I am starting to realize
that my alone time
is just as valuable
than my time with others.
I am learning this,
after years of forcing myself
to be in an overwhelming amount
of social situations,
for too long
for the sake of society's
"guidelines".
I am happier now.

understanding

I want him to understand
that sometimes,
I am full of an innocent joy.
I will wake up,
as goofy as a child on an early Saturday morning,
and I will leave corny
love letters
throughout the day,
bringing across the laughter
of a youth
seeing a clown.
Other days,
I want him to be the fire inside of my mind,
and slightly burning up my thighs,
and the kisses on my neck,
and
I want him to be here,
beside me,
under me,
on top of me.
But..
sometimes, I am
cold.
I prefer to be left alone,
to experience my feelings
by myself.
Sometimes I will act like I don't
want him around,
but I will expect him to love me anyways.
I will expect him to love me anyways.
on the darkest days,
on the days where nothing but passion
flows out of my mouth,
and some days I will want the youth
of love.

me

I am combination of demons,
blended in with the most beautiful
flowers.
I am a thunderstorm,
on a summer day.
Don't let me
destroy you
with love.

would you still like me to love you

i am the wind.
you are the land.
and i am not sure how to touch you
without causing you damage.

thank you heart

When I find myself,
back to writing about the
trouble that you gave me,
I realize that my heart is
teaching me how to heal,
and then let go.

is that enough

I still believe in you,
is that enough?
even though you have become
an unrecognizable face
in the crowd
until you decide you are lonely
and decide you want to get a taste
of my world again
(however, that only lasts a second).
I don't know where you went.
I don't know where the love
went.
I don't know what the love is.
shit,
I don't know what I did.
But I'm still here,
I still believe in you
and on your darkest hours,
remember that I am sending you
the brightest light.
I am still cheering you on,
even though I'm not on the field,
I'm hiding behind the stands
until you acknowledge me again.

loving for dummies

I wish there was an instruction manual
on how to love you.
I still want to,
but I need help learning how.