playing doctor

I cannot fix broken people.
it is not my place
to sweep up
all of your pieces,
and melt them back together.
I can not be your band-aid,
your antiseptic,
your doctor.
I can love you,
but my love does not come
with the requirement of
fixing you.
I cannot assure you that
I will be able to
keep you from falling apart,
however,
I can hold your hand
while you save yourself.
I can help you
by being there,
but I cannot be your only
help.

standing stagnant

you will not move far
if you keep your feet
so rooted in the ground
that you forget that
in order to grow
you have to move,
change,
be.
life is not as simple
as standing firmly
on the same ground,
never questioning
or testing
what you believe.

body image

dear body,
your democratic procedure
of letting
every muscle
and bone,
the blood,
and all of my cells,
make decisions on what is
best for me
is quite helpful.
however,
let my mind know
that even when my cheeks
expand
and look like tiny balloons,
and when my stomach
only slightly bulges out,
(right after i finished nachos
and a big glass of water),
that I am not a defined weight.
i am not a negative
connotation
that i make up in my head
by watching my favorite
television show,
or seeing girl one,
girl two,
and girl three
who probably have the same thoughts
that i do
late at night,
wondering why
my muffin top
does not look appetizing
as muffins are made to be.
remind my mind,
that i am here,
and i am beautiful
and my body is doing exactly
what it is supposed to.
growing.

beauty

when i moved,
the world got silent,
the room stopped spinning.
it's like i stopped everyone
dead in their tracks
and made them question
what kind of deal i made
with the universe
to turn out like this.

here

I tip toe across darkness
careful not
to cause any unnecessary
cracks
and creases
only to make my mind
worsen.
fall deeply
into an
infinite
experience
of night
and day
but within the mind
and the nighttime
isn't so pretty
inside the head.

light a candle.

for mother

sittin' on the couch,
for hours and hours
replayin' the same
funny lines from our
favorite movies.
the wind that blows
through the leaves.
you birthed me,
carrying me,
watching me sprout long legs,
a head full of hair,
scholarly,
creative,
full of confidence.
you did that.
you are the greatest gift
that mother earth could
have ever given me.
you are the
only gift that has ever mattered.
there shall never be a
day in which we part,
for you are always here,
and I am always here,
and we will always be in
each other's hearts.

there is no important reason why

you don't need to know about the
mole on her stomach,
that looks like a continent,
even though you feel like she pulled
him miles away from you.

you don't need to know about
how he felt doubt when it came to you,
because he thought of you like vanilla ice cream,
and he was more of a pistachio flavor kinda guy.

it isn't important to know
how many times he thinks of you,
if he thinks of you at all,
if you even know the path of his
mind anymore.

you just accept and let go,
move on,
move forward.
you need to remind yourself
how you loved before him,
and you will love after him.
you were always yourself
without him.